Tuesday, October 7, 2014

thoughts on this birthday eve.

i'm not usually a sappy blogger. well, i'm not usually a sappy/overly emotional person. but, let's be real, pregnancy hormones. this one is semi-sappy.

tomorrow's my birthday.

my thirties have been pretty great so far. i got married to a wonderful man,


and now we're having a baby.


on my next birthday, i'll have an almost-10-month-old. it's hard to wrap my brain around.

for me, pregnancy has been sort of this surreal experience. i've dreamed of being a mom for my 30+ years, and it's finally happening. i watch my belly get bigger, i feel him moving. we're preparing our house, his room, etc... it physically feels real, but i don't think it's going to hit me until he's born. see also = pile of teary mush. if i stop and let myself envision his arrival, my husband and i meeting him for the first time, my family and friends meeting him for the first time, i feel the tears welling up. of COURSE it's an emotional thing!

the path to parenthood isn't always a clear and straight one. for some it is, easy and right to the point, but not everyone. i've watched family and friends add to their families, and i continue to see others along their journey to become parents. it's a hard one - for lots of people. whether it's you or someone you know and love, it can be painful. but then again, it's also joyful! to be at the point where it's happening for us is amazing and something i'm so grateful for. and i am compassionate towards those who are waiting to get to this point.

i joke on social media and with friends about the crappy parts of pregnancy and the stupid things that people say to pregnant women (i mean, it's true.), but newsflash: that's what pregnant women do. just because we're having a moment affected by hormones out of our control doesn't mean we're clueless and miserable and need to be educated by others who have deemed themselves experts. give a pregnant woman (or a new mom) a break. be happy for her. or maybe just have some empathy. you have no idea what she's been through to get to where she is at that moment. don't become an educator on the spot. i promise she's heard what you're going to say, and doesn't want to hear it again. ...i also promise i'm not the first person to ever write these thoughts on the internet.

but all those things aside, i really feel (here comes a word i never use that i think people overuse WAY too much) blessed. thank god for the miracle of pregnancy, science, technology, doctors, medicine and everything else that gets all women through pregnancy to motherhood - and i'm especially grateful for dr awesome and his team for keeping such a close eye on me and my blood sugar and thyroid levels.

with all the crap that goes on, the depressing news on tv each day and everything people complain about on a daily basis, i know we're about to begin an awesome life-changing event.

and i can't wait.

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