accountability.

ac·count·a·ble. adjective [əˈkountəbəl/]: 1. required or expected to justify actions or decisions; responsible.

when it comes to managing my diabetes, there's only one person that holds all the power in determining how well it's managed. me. 

dr. awesome can talk to me about food choices. go over insulin to carb ratios. review exercise options. discuss not over-correcting lows and being patient to wait for those lows to come back up. tell me how many times a day to check my blood sugar and watch the dexcom ... but it's in my hands. 

i have to make the right food choices, not just the carb-loaded delicious ones that i want. do the math to figure out the correct insulin dose (i'm not a big math person). get off my lazy butt and exercise, not just pin all the great workout plans. make myself sit and wait after drinking a juice box or eating glucose tabs, instead of inhaling everything in the pantry in a desperate moment of wanting that low feeling to go away. take the 30 seconds to get out my meter, check my blood sugar, and enter the number in my dexcom. WEAR the dexcom.

my responsibility.

it's not always easy. it gets old. sometimes it's a hassle. and i slack. and then, i pay the price. i am fully aware of how much better i feel and how much better i function when i have really good control over my blood sugars. 

this isn't something i chose, i didn't do anything to cause my diabetes ... but i have it. i have to keep it under control, because if not, there are consequences. 

i'm the only one that's accountable for my diabetes. 

diabetes fun friday

the fam was in town this week, so i had a little chat with the niece and nephew about diabetes. basically asked them what they think it is, etc. (it's always fun to hear made up kid answers about things they are unsure of, right?) the nephew is 9, the niece is 4 with a quickly approaching birthday.

and yes, after we discussed, i educated them with the correct information.


me: what is diabetes?
niece: diabetes is when have to have shots and you have to go to the doctor because they give you shots and stuff.
nephew: you have to be careful with your body and treat it well when you have diabetes.

me: yes, but what IS diabetes?
nephew: a sickness.

me: how or what do people get diabetes from? what causes it?
nephew: stuff you're allergic to? (he said it like he was asking)
niece: dessert.

me: what helps keep people with diabetes healthy?
niece: not getting sick and taking shots.
nephew: you listen to the doctor, take the right medicines, measure the right amount of medicines, stay away from stuff that might make it worse and use your pump.

me: is there anything people with diabetes are not allowed to eat?
niece: dessert.
me: wait. dessert? have you ever seen me eat dessert?
niece: no.
me: really? no ice cream, no cake, no candy? nothing?
nephew: you like red velvet cupcakes and cake.
niece: [blank stare] i am 4 years old.  [major fit of 4 yr old giggles followed.]

me: okay, what should i eat?
nephew: healthy vegetables and fruit.
niece: grapes, a strawberry, tomatoes, watermelon, chocolate cake ... chocolate cake and whipped cream with strawberries, that would work and be very yummy.

me: when i poke my fingers, what am i doing?
nephew: you're checking your blood sugar.

me: what's a number i usually get? do you remember?
niece: 5, 2, 8, 9 ,6, 18, 19, 20, 100, 1800
nephew: around 100.

me: what does it look like if someone has diabetes?
niece: it looks like that you take shots and medicine.
nephew: you have pumps and wear more stuff on your body than we do.

the niece and nephew enjoying dumbo at disney world 

I.C.O.E. bracelets and a GIVEAWAY!!

I.C.O.E. bracelets is a company that was started in my hometown. they sell personalized 'in case of emergency' bracelets (wristband-style) for children and adults!

they have a great product and they're growing fast (they've been on the local news and they even had an interview on CNN! for real. sorry i couldn't find a link.)! i took a minute to have a chat with one of the owners of I.C.O.E. bracelets to find out more information, because i think they could be a great product for diabetics - of any age. i have one coming my way, and i'm pretty excited about it!

What are ICOE bracelets?
ICOE stands for “In Case of Emergency.” They are emergency contact bracelets for, all ages that provide emergency contact phone numbers in the event that a child (or, adult) gets lost or separated from their caretaker. We also have allergy and medical, alert bracelets, which provide allergies and medical conditions that the person wearing, it has.

How much are ICOE bracelets?
Currently, they are $5.00 each and a portion of every sale is donated to charity.

What charities do you donate to? 
Most often, we donate to Home of the Innocents and Make A Wish Foundation. We chose those because they are both focused on bettering the lives of the children they serve. Some months we choose different charities depending on the time of year or if there are any events. note from fancy nancy: last year ICOE made a donation to my walk team for the JDRF walk! 

What are the most common things people have put on bracelets?
For our children’s “regular” emergency contact bracelets that have one or two phone numbers and a design of their choosing, parents most often order the train and ladybug designs. The most common allergies we see are peanut and tree nut; for medical conditions, probably Diabetes or Asthma.

Is there anything that you can not put on a bracelet?
We have a company policy not to put a child’s name, under the age of 12, on the bracelets. This is to limit the amount of personal information available for strangers to see. We have made exceptions, in cases where a child is non-verbal and the parent NEEDS that on the bracelet.

What sizes do your bracelets come in?
Toddler (fits wrists up to 5.9 inches around), Youth (fits 5.9 – 7.1 inches) and Adult (fits 7.1 – 8.0 inches around). Please keep in mind that you’ll need to fit the bracelet over your child’s hand. They do have some stretch, but not a whole lot.

How are ICOE bracelets different from other medical ID bracelets?
They are made of silicone, which is a type of rubber. This makes them very comfortable and inexpensive. We have had parents tell us that the Velcro bracelets scratch their children and a lot of times, children don’t want to wear the metal ones. These offer cute designs, which helps make the children want to wear them. They
also come in 9 different color options (allergy/medical alert only come in maroon).

What if someone wants to put their own design on a bracelet? is that an option?
We have done custom created designs, but we can’t put characters or designs on them that are copyrighted. For example, we can’t put Mickey Mouse or Winnie the Pooh on a bracelet.

Do ICOE bracelets really work?
We hope so! The information is right there. As long as your child will keep the bracelet on, your phone number can be with him/her at all times. We have taught our 3 year old that if she gets lost and can’t find us, to find another Mommy, tell her she can’t find us and show her the bracelet.

Do kids really wear them? are they comfortable?
They are very comfortable, but it’s going to depend on your child. Our daughter wears hers almost any time we leave the house and never complains about it. We have never had anyone complain of them being uncomfortable.

How long does it take to get a bracelet once i place my order?
Our turnaround time is 1-2 weeks.

Do you have any success stories (because of someone wearing the bracelet) that you can share?
Not that we’ve heard, but we’re okay with that. We don’t WANT kids to get lost or need to use it, we’d rather it just provide peace of mind for parents.

and now for the awesome news! I.C.O.E. would like to give one reader two bracelets! for a chance to win, you need to do two things: become a fan of their page on facebook (make sure you say you were sent by withasideofinsulin.com), and leave a comment on this blog post. you have until midnight tonight (eastern time, 6/23/11) and i'll post the winner tomorrow! 

for more information or if you have questions about I.C.O.E. bracelets, be sure to visit their web site!

wordless wednesday

site change day! 

am i the only one that thinks the humalog boxes are WAY too big?

i remember when they changed the size years ago. it makes no sense to me.

needle anxiety.

over on twitter today, the topic of needle anxiety came up with a few DOC buddies.

some people probably don't know what this is, but i remember it all too well. it can be different for different people (oh gee, sounds like diabetes), as you can see above ... some people have it for certain 'types' of shots, some people had it before but don't know, some people didn't have it until they were diagnosed with diabetes ... and i'm sure there are people who have to take injections for other things (allergies, infertility, hormones, etc etc) who also have this.

but i have diabetes so i'll stick to that subject. basically needle anxiety (by my definition) is fearing the stick of the needle. the pain. i'm sure it varies. it's ALL MENTAL with me.

i went through about a year when my brain took a wrong turn in college and led me down this path of fearing the stick of the needle. i didn't even have to stick the needle in my skin since i had an injector so all i had to do was push two buttons and tah-dah, it 'shot' me.

well, i couldn't do it. something came over me and i was deathly afraid of the pain. i remember one time waiting almost an hour for my roommate to come home from class to do an infusion site change because i needed her to push the buttons for me. i would sit, tense, for that hour, stressing about what if she didn't come straight back to our room ... i would have to push the buttons myself!!

my heart rate would increase, my palms would be sweaty. and then of course, in the instances i HAD to do it myself, after sitting there for what seemed like hours and i finally would push the buttons, there would be no pain and i'd beat myself up over being so scared.

i remember when the fear went away. i was home from college one weekend, and i knew i had a site change coming on a saturday. i knew i would be home and then i could have my parents help. i planned it out. well then, they went out to dinner. and i hadn't asked them to help. so i was sitting at the kitchen table, sweating, taking deep breaths, and finally i told myself, 'THIS IS STUPID. IT DOESN'T HURT. YOU GO THROUGH THIS EVERY THREE DAYS.' and i just pushed the buttons and went on with life.

sometimes that fear acts like it is going to creep up again, and i squash it quickly.

but for a long time, i thought i was the only one with this fear. it's good to know that you're not alone!

things that make me think of the DOC

i did some errands after work yesterday, and one place i went was a great arts and crafts/home store ... and as you know, i live in louisville and you know what that means? IT'S DERBY SEASON!! so i spent some time looking at the gorgeous derby hats they have for sale (which of course start at like $200 for a good big one). if you're in the market for a hat, i know a great person to contact, who i've been friends with since i was about six.

this was my favorite. those who know me will be shocked that it is covered in peacock feathers. 

this store also has a section of home decor, and i saw a few things that reminded me of the DOC, so of course i took pictures to share.

i'm not sure if you have noticed, but many of us PWD love cupcakes. irony? obviously. 

there's also an ongoing discussion over on twitter about how much we all love CHEESE. (sorry, no link for you, but trust me, it comes up A LOT.) and there may have been a talk this week about someone and a mouse in their kitchen. just saying.

and of course, we always talk about the old go-to treat, chocolate.

oh yeah, and speaking of the derby ... there was a commercial on last night for thunder over louisville and the derby festival. this year's derby festival theme is 'derby superfest' and it's all about superheroes, etc, and they are using a lot of comic book animation in their advertising.

i obviously thought of a few people in particular when THIS appeared on my tv screen.

kids are smart.

this past weekend my family was at my sister's house for my nephew's ninth birthday. it was fabulous (minus getting bronchitis) and fun.

friday night, we had dinner at a little mexican restaurant. see also: delicious and one of my favorite foods.

as everyone was digging into the chips and salsa, i got my meter out to test and bolus. my niece was sitting next to me and was very interested. i don't remember her ever being REALLY interested before, but she was just very aware that night.

niece: what are you doing?
me: checking my blood sugar.
niece: oh, is it a good number or a low number like last time?
me: it's a good number.

ummm and let's take a moment. my niece is four. four going on 13, but she is four. and the last time i was around her was christmas. and she remembers that i had low blood sugar at some point during that week? i don't.

kids brains are like sponges. seriously.

ps. i am getting better. thanks to everyone who has been asking. :) the bronchitis is making its exit. don't let the door hit 'cha. 

my first d meet up!!!

yeah that's right. i met people. awesome people of course.

we talked about babies, diet coke, pumps, pods, meters, schools, work, food, kids, insulin, doctors, diagnosis, nutella, peanut butter and jelly in the same jar (nothankyou), blood sugars, DSMA, traveling, pictures (did you really think i wouldn't take any?), d-police, greys anatomy, ... and oh yeah, cupcakes.

these awesome people were there:

and this drooly adorable little guy came with his mommy and kept us entertained:

and we ate these:

and there were presents (i always like a surprise)!! thank you mike!:

i'd say it was a pretty successful meet up!!

back where i belong :)

today was my endo appointment (you know, the really awesome one that i talked about here, to replace that one). want me to tell you how awesome it was? OKAY.

first, it is nice to be greeted by people who remember your name and face, are friendly, remember things about you, make nice conversation, tell you they were wondering why you hadn't been in ...

it was comforting that my endo actually checked my feet, heart, breathing, etc (unlike some doctors that shall remain nameless) ... ya know, do the things doctors are supposed to do!

i got my prescriptions refilled - with the correct amounts - and we talked about the whole cholesterol thing. he decided, after discussion about me being nervous to take cholesterol medicine before i'm even 30, that it will be beneficial, it is preventative so i don't get to a point where it is too high. he said he has seen that it's hard to get the 'bad cholesterol' down to the level it needs to be with diet and exercise only, so i'm going to take a very low dose of an inexpensive prescription ... now i just have to remember to take it. i suck at remembering to take pills. i just now, typing this, remembered to take my vitamin. but i've been remembering that so maybe i'll do okay.

our discussion led to me talking about the DOC. oh yeah you guys, i told him about you. and he was interested, of course. i told him about dsma, and twitter, and ... my blog. oh yeah, he knows about it. and he had me write it down for some patients who are trying to connect with others (a d-meetup in my future?!?! be still my heart.). so you know what that means, right? he might be reading this. hey dr. awesome! :D  haha! he was happy that i found a community of people that relate to me, and he was interested in all the DOC things i take part in. yay! it's good to have a doc on your side. edit: dr. awesome is type 1 diabetic ... do we think that has something to do with his awesomeness?

we talked about my A1C (7.3, thankyouverymuch) and how i have it in my head that i really want that first number to be a 6. he pointed something out that makes sense. 7.3 is not a bad A1C, and he'd rather i be healthy and good where i am instead of having a 6.5 and many lows. good call. i'm not a fan of the lows.

we talked about CGMs, and where animas is headed with dexcom - i think he said it will be called the vibe (but don't hold me to that). we also talked about the diabetic assistance dogs, and how expensive it is to get one here ... boo. but one person that goes to their office has one! *holding onto hope*

i told him about the awards we won for fundraising at the JDRF walk, and he asked if i was involved with them, and suggested i contact someone who works in his office about getting on the board ... maybe i will do that!

BRAGGING ALERT: 

 bronze team achievement award for fundraising

my golden sneaker award for excellence in fundraising

the end of our appointment he summed it up quite nicely, "this was a really good appointment! we got a lot done!"

YAY for being back at the awesome office. where i belong.

i like your pager

last night my man and i had our valentine's day date night, and while we were out we stopped somewhere so he could pay a bill.

while i was waiting and not really paying attention, he said to the girl working (who was probably 17), 'i like your pager.' her response was, 'what??' and i turned to look.

the thoughts i immediately had in my head were she must have an insulin pump or she really has a pager because he now has one for his job and we joke about it.

when i looked over i saw her blue animas pump clipped on the outside of her pocket. like a total diabetes nerd, i lifted up my jacket and showed her my pump in my pocket. 'I HAVE ONE TOO!' (nerd. alert.) 'oh really? do you use animas or medtronic?'

my man looked at us confused. he doesn't know all the medical brands so he had no idea what we were talking about.

i told her that i have the animas ping, and she had an envious reaction; the ping came out a few months after she got her current pump. then we talked about CGMs and what features our new pumps might have.

my man stood there, paying attention, with a somewhat confused look. he knows what the pump does and how it works, but not all about the different brands, features, etc.

oh yeah, it was a total diabetes nerd moment. and also, hilarious.

image from www.animas.com

i like your pager.

i wasn't a young CWD, but i'm still someone's child.

there has been a lot of talk lately about a thread on a forum discussion on Children With Diabetes. while i didn't participate, it got pretty heated, opinions from parents whose children have diabetes, opinions from adults who were once these children ... read it if you wish. it might raise your blood pressure a smidgen, no matter which 'side' you are on.

some comments i read made me frustrated, some made me sympathetic. some made me feel like i was reading in circles, like it was a fight back and forth, when really, someone put it best by saying we may be on different sides of the boat - parents of CWD, PWD, but aren't we in the same boat?  agree.

i'm not here to talk about that thread. but it made me think, and reading some other blogs as of late, there is one thing i don't have in common with some of the DOC members. today, jess is talking about some things she remembers from childhood. it made me think.

i didn't have diabetes as a child. i was diagnosed on the cusp of adulthood. i had just graduated from high school, i was about to start a new chapter of life.

reading some things people have said discussing memories of their childhood, i can't relate to. i don't know what it was like to have the nurse at school check my blood sugar or help me figure out how much insulin to take.

i was never in the hospital for an extended period of time when i was diagnosed. i didn't have to have a parent go to a party with me to make sure i was eating what i was supposed to. my parents didn't have to worry about what might blood sugars might do when i had a sleep over with my best friends.

it never crossed my mind, until a conversation with a friend one day who was diagnosed as a child, that going through puberty had an affect on your blood sugars as well as everything else in your life. of course it would, i just never had to think about it, so i didn't.

i didn't have my mom come to class to explain what diabetes was to my classmates. i didn't have to keep snacks in my desk in case my blood sugar was low. i didn't miss a single day of school until i was in 6th grade and got a bad case of strep throat. i didn't worry about getting made fun of for having diabetes (i got made fun of for other typical stupid kid stuff).

i didn't have to worry about forgetting my blood sugar meter in my locker with my homework. i didn't have to make sure i was eating the right things at lunch, or have to learn early in my life how to figure out how much insulin to take with my food. i could buy an extra pudding pop or two and not think a thing about it.

i didn't go to diabetes camp every summer. (although it sounded totally awesome and i'm kinda jealous.)

me, young and worry free

the only memory of diabetes i have from 'childhood' was freshman year of high school. my good friend was having a birthday party at her house, and one of her friends (now my friend!) was checking her blood sugar at the kitchen table before we had cake. i remembered asking her what she was doing, and i was very interested in it, asking lots of questions. (i tend to ask lots of questions about things i don't know much about. it's a good way to learn things, ya know.) when i was diagnosed, i talked to her, and she remembered how interested i was in it, and how ironic it was. HA. oh, the irony. :)

i may not have been a young child when i was diagnosed, but i am still someone's child. my parents still had to deal with it. they had to deal with my diagnosis in a different way, but it is still a part of their life too. it was a new learning experience and expense for all of us. and i can try to imagine how they felt and what they felt, but every person in this world deals with things differently.

so i hope that all PWD and parents of CWD can take that into consideration. every single person may believe that they are right and everyone else is wrong, their way of dealing is right, their opinion is right, their situation is the worst, best, whatever ... but we are all sharing a common thread. whether we were diagnosed at 6 or  26.