the lecture.

today i had a doctor's appointment. it's a nice day, everyone i'd seen in the office was polite, etc, yay happy times.

until ... the lecture.

her: [with my chart on the computer in front of her] do you smoke?
me: no.
her: and i hope that you don't drink. [stares at me]
me: rarely.
her: [SIGHS] with your diabet-us.  (oh you knew she was going to say it wrong, just to irk me.) drinking isn't really good with the diabet-us.
me: are you lecturing me?
her: no, i'm not lecturing. i'm just saying, because i care. i have a friend who has diabet-us and she has a pump too. and i can tell when she hasn't been taking care of herself because [waves her hands around] she gets all loopy and confused and i have to get her a coke.
me: i am healthy, thanks. and that's not 'not taking care of yourself' that sounds like having low blood sugar.
her: well she had an episode when she had been drinking once.
me: oh. that's not good.

uhhhh, i'm sorry, what is an 'episode'? sigh.

so i let it go. the conversation continues about how often i exercise, i tell her that i go to bootcamp and what it is.

her: oh, i know what bootcamp is. i did it ONCE.
me: oh yeah? i love it!
her: i didn't. i thought i was going to die.
me: oh i thought that at first too, but it got easier.
her: the bad thing was, my friend was the teacher. and every time i complained about something, she'd say, in front of the class, 'i bet it wouldn't be so bad if you didn't smoke a cigarette on your way here.'

...so let me get this straight. you're lecturing me about drinking RARELY and you're a smoker?

continuing on to questions about emergency contacts, mine is my mom. and i AM NOT EVEN KIDDING or exaggerating ...

her: and what does your mom have to say about you drinking as a diabetic?

i'm gonna give you minute to let that soak in. what does MY MOM think? folks, i'm gonna be 29 next week. and mom, i love you, but i know that you would tell her the same thing i told her. you guys, i tried to stay nice. but i kind of lost it on that one.

me: she doesn't have anything to say because i am an adult and i know how to take care of myself.
her: [trying to laugh it off] ohhh you know i'm not lecturing you, heh heh.
me: [NOT LAUGHING] um, do you smoke?
her: oh yeah, like a freight train.
me: well i'm not lecturing you about smoking, and i'm certainly not trying to get you to quit, so i GUESS we'll call it even.
her: [silence.]

so the standard procedures follow, and when she walks me to the exam room she says 'okay, no more lectures for the day!'  i had no response.

right. sorry lady, i don't think you're funny. and i'm 100% positive you're not a doctor, nor are you my endocrinologist who knows how often i drink and doesn't have a problem with it. so my suggestion is, next time, don't make judgements about people you know nothing about and a disease you CLEARLY know nothing about, and keep your comments to yourself.