Thursday, September 29, 2011

the lecture.

today i had a doctor's appointment. it's a nice day, everyone i'd seen in the office was polite, etc, yay happy times.

until ... the lecture.

her: [with my chart on the computer in front of her] do you smoke?
me: no.
her: and i hope that you don't drink. [stares at me]
me: rarely.
her: [SIGHS] with your diabet-us.  (oh you knew she was going to say it wrong, just to irk me.) drinking isn't really good with the diabet-us.
me: are you lecturing me?
her: no, i'm not lecturing. i'm just saying, because i care. i have a friend who has diabet-us and she has a pump too. and i can tell when she hasn't been taking care of herself because [waves her hands around] she gets all loopy and confused and i have to get her a coke.
me: i am healthy, thanks. and that's not 'not taking care of yourself' that sounds like having low blood sugar.
her: well she had an episode when she had been drinking once.
me: oh. that's not good.

uhhhh, i'm sorry, what is an 'episode'? sigh.

so i let it go. the conversation continues about how often i exercise, i tell her that i go to bootcamp and what it is.

her: oh, i know what bootcamp is. i did it ONCE.
me: oh yeah? i love it!
her: i didn't. i thought i was going to die.
me: oh i thought that at first too, but it got easier.
her: the bad thing was, my friend was the teacher. and every time i complained about something, she'd say, in front of the class, 'i bet it wouldn't be so bad if you didn't smoke a cigarette on your way here.' let me get this straight. you're lecturing me about drinking RARELY and you're a smoker?

continuing on to questions about emergency contacts, mine is my mom. and i AM NOT EVEN KIDDING or exaggerating ...

her: and what does your mom have to say about you drinking as a diabetic?

i'm gonna give you minute to let that soak in. what does MY MOM think? folks, i'm gonna be 29 next week. and mom, i love you, but i know that you would tell her the same thing i told her. you guys, i tried to stay nice. but i kind of lost it on that one.

me: she doesn't have anything to say because i am an adult and i know how to take care of myself.
her: [trying to laugh it off] ohhh you know i'm not lecturing you, heh heh.
me: [NOT LAUGHING] um, do you smoke?
her: oh yeah, like a freight train.
me: well i'm not lecturing you about smoking, and i'm certainly not trying to get you to quit, so i GUESS we'll call it even.
her: [silence.]

so the standard procedures follow, and when she walks me to the exam room she says 'okay, no more lectures for the day!'  i had no response.

right. sorry lady, i don't think you're funny. and i'm 100% positive you're not a doctor, nor are you my endocrinologist who knows how often i drink and doesn't have a problem with it. so my suggestion is, next time, don't make judgements about people you know nothing about and a disease you CLEARLY know nothing about, and keep your comments to yourself.


  1. I would've demanded to see her medical degree, but your responses were outstanding. D-Police are everywhere, it seems.

  2. OMG!! That woman is going to suffer from the wrath of the DOC if you just let us know where/when. LOL j/k... sorta... I don't believe in hurting others though I can get mad, right?

  3. I applaud you for not allowing your boot to go camping in her @ss. See what I did there. hehe. ;-)

  4. U go girl. I probably wouldn't have been as cool-headed about it.

  5. WOW! Unbelievable. I suppose she lectures bakers on the evils of too much sugar too! Maybe she lets mechanics know how bad oil and gas fumes are for them, or tells teachers to watch it with all the chalk, chalk could kill ya know. . .

    Lesson 1: Don't lecture what you don't know!
    Lesson 2: NEVER tell Meredith "YOU CAN'T"!

  6. FACE.

    Well done, my friend. Glad you spoke up.

  7. You are so amazing. Rock on with your diabadass self!!!

  8. Know-it-alls who know nothing drive me crazy! Kudos to you for putting her in her place!